sudden realisation

was reading wei en's blog, and felt really encouraged by the verse he put there.
actually i thought there's not much difference going to ya, because people who are always around me are YAs.
but after yanheng's birthday event, i was a little shocked by the changes.
maybe i'm quite slow at this, but when i know i have to reach out to a seeker who's 2 years older than me, i felt the difference instantly. coz everytime have to handle the kids..
i felt rather not ready for it, like quite sudden, asked wai yee to pray for me and yah it felt so much better.
actually during the retreat, when ya and yf split for discussion, i've already felt a little bit of the difference, somehow there was nothing familiar.
the people, the way they think, the jokes, the things discussed.... nothing is familiar to me.
like the time in yf i wont be afraid to say anything lame or contribute anything lousy, because i was very comfortable with the people, like waiyee, ziling, pf..
but yet in ya discussion i was rather quiet, not that i don't want to contribute, but everything was so foreign and im like the youngest there.
then everyone like can see the flaws or problems before i can. then like nothing much to say already. haha.
everything was just so different la. the atmosphere, the dynamics, the feeeel.
during the retreat when we had a combined discussion, ziling was whining to me how different it felt without me. and she say she missed me! haha. then i told her to take up my role la!
be the entertainer and waiyee's friend.
talking about waiyee, haha i was so used to her way of supporting my ideas and discussing, and when i went for ya discussion, i felt like something was missing.
like my supporter gone with the wind. hoo~~
haha but i know slowly i can find one la.
she also said she felt so different and she could feel it so much during the retreat. because like no one to support her thinking already. and one translator less to translate her mars language.
haha i really like the feel of i support you, you support me!
then i so slow, until got event then felt the change.
but i know clearly that i need time to adjust and get used to it la.
because in the end, i could talk to yanheng's friend, and tried sharing a little before she decided to go home.
so it's like an achievement already! haha.
yah, so i'm looking forward to serve in a new environment! yay!