confidence

was reading Fenglin's blog and know that she's going to do her eyes.
i think she's planning to do some sort of plastic surgery or make her eyes bigger or what.
last time when she told us about her plan, we were suggesting that she don't do it.
because her 'trademark' will be gone.
and she looks so much cuter with that small eyes that disappears when she smiles.

then i went to read eveline's blog.
and wah she went to put braces.
last time she said she can't. haha.

it's like i feel this insecurity when there's this change in people's appearance.
somehow i feel they will change.
though fenglin said in her blog: so soon i'll look a little different. but i'll still be myself. no worries. still me forever.
like she can be so confident. wow.
im not sure. but i feel when people have some change in their looks, the original personality that we're comfortable with will soon disappear or change.
and i feel insecure about this change.
maybe im afraid that they will change to someone who i can hardly recognise.
not just the looks, but character wise or attitude also.
same goes to some people who lost lots of weight suddenly. (kai en, don't be so sensitive ah.)
or suddenly become very fat.
of course i met some people who are like that.
that's why.
there's this friend of mine, not in church, who lost weight a lot. like quite sudden.
maybe it's been long since i've seen him.
but when we met up, and wah he lost so so much.
and last time he told me xxx is my life. yyy is very important to me.
after he lost weight, the xxx and yyy seemed to disappeared from his life.
i feel he has lost the passion towards those things. and the comfortable feeling he always gives in the past.
like a brand new person. not someone i know for years.

im not sure but i guess such changes is unavoidable.
a few days ago i met my primary school friend on the bus.
we were so so close last time.
and we recognised each other.
she said i haven't change and it's so easy to recognise me.
haha im so happy lor. when she said that.
she still looks the same too.
but im sure she's not the same person as that time, when we were in primary school la. haha

maybe it's just the looks or what. haiyah.
im not sure if this is being superficial.
but this is something which i really feel very insecure about.
maybe i should really trust what fenglin said: she'll still be her forever.