i see light

WHO WANTS TO BE AN OYSTER

One final word about preventing and removing emotional hurts.
To live creatively, we must be willing to be a little vulnerable.
We must be willing to be hurt a little, if necessary, in creative living.
A lot of people need a thicker and tougher emotional skin than they have.
But they need only a tough emotional hide or epidermis-not a shell.
To trust, to love, to open ourselves to emotional communication with other people is to run the risk of being hurt.
If we are hurt once, we an do one of two things.
We can build a protective shell, or scar tissue, to prevent being hurt again, live like an oyster, and not be hurt.
Or we can "turn the other cheek," remain vulnerable and go on living creatively.

An oyster is never "hurt." He has a thick shell which protects him from everything.
He is isolated.
An oyster is secure, but not creative.
He cannot "go after" what he wants-he must wait for it to come to him.
An oyster knows none of the "hurts" of emotional communication with his environment-but neither can an oyster know the joys.

Wow. like it was really meant for me to read this.
I was like an oyster. i was afraid to step out.
but it sunday's sermon application told me: To know God's will, you have to know it through the bible.
and the fact that the author mentioned 'turning the other cheek' shows that i should try things all over again.

thank God that i had a really good talk with UJ.
through his experience, i see hope.
i was really encouraged by his sharing.
why are we still afraid?
why are we still worrying?
why are we still stuck at deciding whether to serve the Lord?
i kept asking myself many questions.
my attitude towards serving.
at one point i didn't understand what it is to serve people. to be really people oriented.
but now i know.
and i should stop seeing myself as someone who can do small things. i should allow God to use me and mould me into whatever He wants me to become.
now i understand. the meaning of putting yourself down and take up the cross.
the road in front is not going to be easy. but i am not afraid.

and on sunday i've decided go Tang mu shi's sermon.
though it's not super interesting and there were some things that i couldn't understand.
but something he said did stayed in my mind for sometime.
"神的主权不是谁可以干涉的，
神施恩不是你能嫉妒的.”
because he was talking about Joseph's brothers want to kill him because his father liked him and he could interpret dreams.
they were jealous.
like how much jealousy could do. to even kill their own brother.
i was once blinded by jealousy too.
i can't see other people's need but only myself.
i could feel nothing but guilty. i could say nothing but sorry.
but im going to help. im going to improve things.
i want to help as much as i can to those people who are really significant to me.
i once thought this year is one of my worst year, but im going to make it the best year i've ever had.
and i hope this thought will go on forever.